Siberian Baseball

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Proof Wisconsin is a fooball state

I wanted to pass along the rough transcripts that a friend of mine sent me after his trip to Miller Park last week. I wish I could say I was surprised, but it seems like he had much the same experience that I used to have at Twins games as a carousel of fans sat behind me and asked increasingly bizarre questions.

It's worth noting that the guy who sent this was born and raised in Wisconsin, so if the Sconnie accents got on his nerves, it had to be pretty bad. He's also the one who took delight in the Prince Fielder/vegetarian mini-scandal where he pointed out that Wisconsin was one of the few states where a professional athlete would be criticized for losing weight and eating healthy.

From the semi-retarded people sitting behind me last night at the Brewers vs. Toronto (who also spoke in great Wisconsin accents)

Girl 1 - "What place are the Brewers in?"
Guy 1 - "Third I think..."
Girl 1 - "What place are the Blue Jays in?
Guy 1 - "Third I think."
Girl 1 - "Oohhhhh, so this is a really important game, eh"?
Guy 1 - "Yeah"

Also, Guy 1 or 2 (hard to distinguish) couldn't stop talking about how awesome and tough Jason Kendall is - and how much he loves him - who is currently batting .259, with 1 whole HR and 22 RBIs. Lighting it up.

And again Guy 1 or 2 talking about how great Scott Rolen is (well - I guess if you think Jason Kendall is good, I could see that). Obviously he was good - this year, not so much.

With 2 outs in the eighth inning and a man on 1st and third:

Guy 1 - "I wonder if they're going to manufacture a run here" - i.e., put on the suicide squeeze like they did earlier in the game. I'm sure I don't have to point out to you the problem with that. Also, they were winning.

Retarded girl one astounded that a guy got to third from first on a hit and run:

"Oh, he was already halfway to second when he hit the ball?"

And I can't stress the accents enough. I also had to listen to a whole conversation between them and the beer man about their kids and shit, who they apparently knew - and also was semi-retarded - sounded like something straight out of Fargo.

Jesus. Christ .... I just can't do justice in an email to the general stupidity - and listening to it all in the worst Milwaukee accent you can imagine.


In situations like these, it's best to not try to find any meaning in what is going on around you. It's like sitting next to the person who can't keep track of the action on the field and ends up roaring his approval when his team strikes out only to be forced to sit down sheepishly.

I love when that happens.

(Image taken for Siberian Baseball)

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2 Comments:

  • We were up by Green Bay last week and the front page story (not the front of the sports section, but the front page of the entire newspaper) in the Press-Gazette was a detailed analysis of the race to be the Packers backup QB behind Aaron Rodgers. This is of course in the middle of June and training camp is over a month away. I really have no comment on this.

    By OpenID frankthetank, At Thursday, June 26, 2008 2:01:00 PM  

  • I used to help write those pieces. It's like Christmas decorations going up earlier each year.

    By the time we retire, the preseason previews will start in the off week before the Super Bowl.

    By Blogger Minneapolis Red Sox, At Monday, June 30, 2008 9:48:00 AM  

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