Dear Twins Fans... Uhhh, sorry?

The Twins spammed their e-mail contacts today to let everyone know that they tried everything they could to keep Johan Santana, but he simply refused to comply with their "don't kill kittens" policy, so they shipped him to New York where that sort of thing is socially acceptable.

At least that's my guess because I lost interest midway through this long-winded e-mail from Twins President, Dave St. Peter. The tone is essentially, don't blame us, we tried. Seems a strange way to bring an end to the Santana Era.

St. Peter also fell back on the cheerful excuse put forth by some Minneapolis columnists - mainly that Joe Nathan, Francisco Liriano and Boof Bonser were all added to the Twins' family because of the AJ Pierzynski trade. Going further back into the past, they point to the Frank Viola trade years back as another lopsided trade with a happy ending.

I'm sure that makes Twins fans feel a lot better about losing the most dominant southpaw since Koufax.

Here's the big hitter in the e-mail:

As the club has stated many times, our first choice was to sign Johan to a contract extension ensuring he remained in a Twins uniform for years to come. Despite the largest multi-year offer in Twins history - one which would have rewarded Johan with the highest annual salary among all pitchers in Baseball - the team and Johan's representatives respectfully were unable to reach agreement. Only at that juncture did the team and Johan's agent begin considering trade options.

In other words, "Please don't come down and set fire to the ticket office on Monday in response to the trade being approved. It wasn't our fault. We checked under the couch cushions for extra cash and everything. Sorry, guys."

If I'm Ron Gardenhire, I'm printing this out and putting it in my personnel file, just in case things go south in March and April this year.

Here's the e-mail in its entirety for those who are curious:

Dear Twins Fans:

On behalf of the entire Minnesota Twins organization, I'd like to take this opportunity to follow up regarding today's announced trade of Johan Santana to the New York Mets in exchange for outfielder Carlos Gomez and pitchers Deolis Guerra, Philip Humber and Kevin Mulvey.

Trading a pitcher of Johan Santana's stature and character was a very difficult decision for the Twins organization. Since being acquired as an unknown 20 year old by the Twins in the 1999 Rule 5 Draft, Johan has emerged as one of the game's elite pitchers, as well as an ultimate competitor, teammate and role model. The Twins organization is incredibly thankful for Johan's significant contributions to this franchise and wish he and his family all the best going forward.

As the club has stated many times, our first choice was to sign Johan to a contract extension ensuring he remained in a Twins uniform for years to come. Despite the largest multi-year offer in Twins history - one which would have rewarded Johan with the highest annual salary among all pitchers in Baseball - the team and Johan's representatives respectfully were unable to reach agreement. Only at that juncture did the team and Johan's agent begin considering trade options.

As has been well documented, the Twins organization has a rich history of acquiring quality players via trade. Examples include the acquisitions of Joe Nathan, Francisco Liriano and Boof Bonser from the Giants; Eric Milton and Cristan Guzman from the Yankees; and Rick Aguilera and Kevin Tapani from the Mets. With that history in mind, Bill Smith and talent evaluators such as Mike Radcliff, Rob Antony and Terry Ryan engaged in a process aimed at helping ensure the long-term competitiveness of the franchise.

With hopes of repeating that trade success, the deal brings four high quality young players to the Twins system:

Carlos Gomez - OF - 22 Years Old - Ranked as Mets' 3rd Best Prospect by Baseball America
Native of Dominican Republic is a true five-tool athlete with game-changing speed and an above average arm ... Made Major League debut with the Mets in 2007.

Deolis Guerra - RHP - 18 Years Old - Ranked as Mets' 2nd Best Prospect by Baseball America
The Venezulean native was the Opening Day starter for Mets' Class A Port St. Lucie club at the age of 17 ... projects to be an impact starter ... pitched in the 2007 Futures Game

Philip Humber - RHP - 25 Years Old - Ranked as Mets' 7th Best Prospect by Baseball America
Won championship game of 2003 College World Series for Rice ... Was the Mets first round pick - third overall - in the 2004 draft ... Has a great curve ball.

Kevin Mulvey - RHP - 22 Years Old - Ranked as Mets' 4th Best Prospect by Baseball America
The Mets top pick in the 2006 draft, throws four pitches for strikes ... Was the Mets Minor League Pitcher of the Year and pitched in the 2007 Futures Game.

These acquisitions only add to the Twins impressive nucleus of young, impact players. Ron Gardenhire can take comfort in knowing he has a lineup anchored by some of the game's best young offensive stars in Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau, Michael Cuddyer and Delmon Young; a veteran bullpen led by all-star closer Joe Nathan; and a young emerging starting rotation featuring Scott Baker, Boof Bonser, Kevin Slowey and the return of Francisco Liriano. The pitching rotation will be young, but talented, and we are confident that Ron Gardenhire and pitching coach Rick Anderson will mold this group into a successful unit.

Once again, thank you for your incredible support of Twins baseball. We look forward to seeing you at the Metrodome again this spring.

Win Twins!!!

Dave St. Peter
President

(Image from: Newsday.com)