A little tale of battles and wars

If I could have exited the Metrodome via some sort of forced air chute like at the bank, I would have been fine tonight.

For those who didn't catch the late SportsCenter, the Twins won in extra innings when their number seven hitter (the DH... as the seven hitter... DH stands for designated hitter... as in all he's supposed to do is hit) gimped a homer out in right for a grand slam walkoff.

Things that were not surprising - a.) It wasn't Rondell White. b.) It came off Julian Tavarez (who I described at various points in the evening as "super-ugly," "baby-scaring ugly," "Change the channel, quick ugly" and my personal favorite, "circus ugly."

Yeah, he's a cruel joke of a human face.)

Things that were only moderately surprising - a.) half the place had left before the game ended. b.) Half the place was Red Sox Nation. c.) People acted like coked out baboons after the game.

I heard several Bucky Dent cheers, outright laughter and incoherent "Yeeeeeeah's" as I walked to the truck. I just smiled because I'm a smug prick like that. If any of these fans would show up on a consistient basis, they might see the trouble the Twins are in.

Without going off on a rant, I'll boil it down to the little chat I had with one of the guys walking out.

(As a disclaimer, I had a great time, it was an amazing game with Johan Santana notching his 1,000th career strikeout and I stood and cheered when he hit that milestone. So did the rest of the Nation in my section. After the final homer, one of the guys sitting next to me tapped me to wave goodbye and shook my hand. On my other side, the fans left in the 10th before the late-inning drama, but we laughed and shook hands.

I know, I'm a man of the people.

The point is I wasn't out to be a prick tonight and had a good time from start to finish. The trouble always starts when stupid people say stupid things.)

I told the "Yeeeeeah!" guy to shut his mouth until he had a team over .500 and offered a business card so he can call me because it might be next year. I also asked if he was really comfortable with Jason Kubel as the DH, despite his big night.

Considering he looks like Matthew LeCroy's love child, it might not be the All-Star they hope after his homer.

I wanted to say about a million things, but in the end it's not really worth it. We have plenty of cool people in our section who get baseball and they aren't the problem. It's just irritating to see people celebrate like they won the pennant over a game in mid-June. I can totally understand it, because it was a big win, but tomorrow the realization will roll in like a bad hangover.

Really quickly here for anyone searching for a blog on the win tomorrow morning is the breakdown and a lesson on winning battles when you've already lost the war. (It's like finding someone in the middle of the Pacific still fighting WWII on a deserted island - great spirit, but it's pretty much said and done at this point).

The Red Sox are tied for first in the East with a record of 36-26. As such they are no games behind in their division.

The Twins are fourth in the Central above only the lowly Royals with a record of 29-34. They are 12 games behind Detroit, which is only a game and a half ahead of the defending World Champs.

See the big picture campers?

So if the Sox lose again tomorrow or Thursday it'll be OK. The Twins will keep pace with the division leaders, the Sox may or may not fall behind the Yankees as they break down. The sun will rise, the sun will set, the Twins will remain a step off the basement floor by standing on Kansas City's skull.

What really bothers me though is the prospect of having to cite the White Sox as a legitimate reason for the Twins fans to shut up. That is really troubling on several levels.