Siberian Baseball

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2005 AL MVP!

Oh, Alex Rodriguez, you silly, slap-happy little bitch.

You began (and will end) the day tied for the lead in the majors with 5 RBI, unfortunately, none of them will come this evening.

After Monday night's violation of the Athletics, Oakland and hell it was so bad, I'm sure dead fans of the Philadelphia Athletics are tossing about in coffins in Pennsylvania right now, I was wondering how the Yankees would follow up that performance. Let's face facts, 15-2 is a beating and at your home opener, that doesn't go over too well.

More specifically, I wanted to watch to see what you would do, A-Rod. True to form, you shine in the worthless moments and shrink from glory in the clutch. This is not just the biased view of a Red Sox fan, this is the thought process of impartial observers and even some of your own.

While I would love cite former choke jobs and worthless lead-padding homers, let's just focus on the past two days - new season, fresh start, OK, buddy? OK.

In the above-mentioned drubbing, you cranked a grand slam, making you one of the few Yankees in history to do so. Congrats, that second-inning shot helped drive Barry Zito from the game in record time. Still, it was the second inning and the score was at the tipping point before the floodgates opened.

To give credit where it's due, nice hit, but it really wasn't a pressure situation. Like say, oh, two on, two out in the ninth in the rain tonight.

After striking out to Rich Harden in the first, you scattered a few singles before you struck out again, this time to Justin Duchscherer. Still, 2-for-4 with two Ks isn't so bad, right? Right.

What makes you A-Rod is the ground out with two down in the ninth. With Johnny Damon in scoring position and Gary Sheffield on first, you scorched one right up the middle at the shortstop. The A's scored in the bottom to take the win.

This is why when you come to bat in September, people you have never met (in bars you will never visit) stand back and say, "No way he gets a hit here. No way." Eventually you're going to run out of time to prove them wrong.

Not damning you yet, A-Rod (well for this season, at least), but let's just say you've been warned. I have my eye on you.

(Photo from:


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