Florida Marlins (83-79, .512, t-3rd in NL East)

OK, Marlins, if you're not going to try, then I'm not going to try. Without further ado, quick hits on the Florida Marlins:

1.) Watch this team for three guys - Dontrelle Willis, Miguel Cabrera and Hanley Ramirez. Everyone else can go to hell.

2.) God bless a team with players named Abercrombie, Bump and Uggla. Easily the most-heckle-able team in the majors for these reasons alone. Also, they sound like characters in Marjor League 4: Shrunken Roid Nads. If you think any ballpark won't be ringing with calls of "You Uggla! Yo momma Uggla! Your sister is Ugg-la!" then you are a resident of Alabama.

3.) Gotta give it to the Marlins, when they have a fire sale, they burn the whole clubhouse, not just the bullpen or the end of the bench. Yowza.

4.) Kerry Lightenberg cut his sideburns... sellout!

5.) Looks like the clock is ticking on Willis and Cabrera - seriously how much would they have to pay you to play without complaint for this team if you were either of those men? They should have a bonus clause for Marlins' contracts to kick in another $5 million if the team ERA goes over 8.00 or the batting average drops below .150 - I think those are reasonable expectations for this year.

Florida Marlins
C: Willingham; Treanor; Olivo
1B: Jacobs;Helmsl Stokes
2B: Uggla
SS: Ramirez; Andino
3B: Cabrera
LF: Aguila; Abercrombie
CF: Reed; Aguila; Abercrombie
RF: Hermida; Aguila

SP: Willis; Mitre; Moehler; Vargas; Johnsonl Olsen
CP: Borowski
RP: Bowyer; Resop; Messenger; Bump; Kensing; Lightenberg